You may not know it, but you are an important part of someone you know or may not knows wedding dreams. Whether your a member of a wedding party or just the date of a guest, you have attended a wedding and will more than likely attend one again. Some of you may dread this, while others anticipate the party. No matter which type of guest you are, and whether its your 1st wedding or your 15th, chances are wedding etiquette isn’t your fort-ay. In-fact, until your the one getting married most do not realize the wedding fauex pa’s their committing.
As a wedding planner & Bride to be the error in my wedding guest past is haunting me like an ugly bridesmaids dress. In an attempt to change my etiquette karma I have created a series of wedding guidelines for everyone from the mother of the bride to the blind date sitting at table 7.
Do you have a nightmare wedding etiquette story? Share it with us, by commenting below!
Series II Bridal Party Do’s & Dont’s
Its an honor to be asked to be a member of the Bride & Grooms inner circle. Besides making some great memories along the way, your commitment can also become expensive, time consuming & sometimes stressful. Here are some guidelines for the future bridesmaids & groomsmen of the world that will keep the Bride & Groom happy & yourself sane.
Know What You Are Signing Up For:
Remember, every wedding is different, each family has there own set of traditions, ideas, & budget. You could be agreeing to take part in something you can not afford or have the time to commit to. Since weddings are an emotionally driven event communication is the key to not ruining your relationship with the couple during the process.
Ask what will be expected of you, how much things will cost & what role you will be playing through out the entire process. Let them know how happy and excited you are and be clear on what you feel comfortable spending. The Bride & Groom will respect you for asking the important questions and may be willing to make some compromises should you not be able to afford or attend every wedding event. Should you find yourself declining the invitation be aware that it may cause some hurt at first but it will be much better then not meeting expectations and feeling stressed down the road.
Be Supportive, Not Opinionated and if You Must, LIE
Imagine the cheerleaders at your high school wearing itchy ugly uniforms, standing in the rain, jumping, screaming, kicking, while holding the biggest smiles for a team that might not even win. Embrace the notion that a bridal party member is like a cheerleader, you must believe in your couple and love them enough to not care what you are wearing or what the weathers like, you must focus on the big day and how your support will make it a success. The Bride and Groom will drive you crazy at times, over whelm you with questions and ideas about their big day, and ask you for your thoughts on everything from dress, decor, to party location and color scheme. No matter how strange or disagreeable you find it, even constructive criticism should always be positive.
Party Etiquette :
Bridesmaids: Find out if there will be an engagement party, shower, bachelorette party and who will be hosting them. Sometimes these responsibilities will fall on you. Be up front on what you can contribute and open to suggestions from the family. Share your contact information with everyone in the wedding party and be prepared to spend some time and money on all of these things.
Groomsmen: Be helpful with party planning needs, find out who the maid of honor is and return her emails & phone calls. She might be cute, but now is not the time to try to hit on her or any of the bridesmaids for that matter. Remember, the reception will have the ladies looking their best and most likely wanting to slow dance, so try to stay cute and mysterious until then.
Everyone: Talk to your Bride/Groom about what they want for their bachelor/bachelorette party and pre-wedding events. Do not do anything they are not comfortable with and no matter how black out drunk they get, do not allow them to do something they will regret. The day of the wedding remember they may get cold feet and although you swore to never get married it is your job to make sure they do. Stay sober enough to give a toast that will roast the groom, flatter the bride and make everyone laugh and cry, then go find that bridesmaid or groomsmen you have been eying and celebrate the evening!
Series III The Wedding Guest 1/20/11