Let Me Clarify…Let The Rhetoric Stop There's No Such Thing As A Perfect Wedding


There is a ton of rhetoric in the wedding industry and I want to spend a minute to dispel what I think a lot of planners and designers tend to propagate. Let’s stop it…today:

“The Wedding Is The Most Important Day of Your Life”

This couldn’t be further from the truth and for those of us who have lived a few years, we know that it is only one of many important days a couple will have. There will be life milestones, babies, new houses, new jobs and lots of other important days that will define who you are and define your life story.

If I hear this one more time come out of the mouths of celebrity wedding planners, event designers or otherwise, my head may explode. It creates an unrealistic expectation about what a wedding is about and the perfection behind it. No wedding or marriage will ever be perfect – it can never be PERFECT. So, please, stop filling the heads of your couples with the notion that you create perfection, when in realism, you are a firefighter. On the wedding day, you put out fires to keep the event as close to a perfect day as it can ever be – you plan for it – create Plan B – roll with the punches but parties have a life of their own and our job on the event day is to mange the expectation. By setting it unrealistically high we are doing a disservice to ourselves and to our clients.

“It’s The Bride’s Big Day” or “It’s the Couple’s Big Day”

No, no, no… it’s not. The day is about the joining of two families and not about any one person in particular. it’s the hopes and dreams of the parents, grandparents and the couple. It’s about taking care of the guests and their experience. By telling couples it’s all about them, we are only creating the monsters you see on Bridezillas who believe that on that one day everybody needs to do what they say. It’s a childlike mentality and adults are getting married. If you’re old enough to get married, you’re old enough not to be babysat. I’m not a babysitter, I’m a professional person doing a professional job for you and you have to take some of the responsibility as well – it’s about the guests who are coming to your wedding and showing them a good time and showcasing your individuality. It’s not about being a princess on your wedding day. Grow up.

As Wedding Planners We Relieve Your Stress

I have been doing weddings for a while and this one is the worst. A client is going to feel stressed if they are prone to stress. They also are going to feel stress if their families are setting unrealistic expectations on them and on the wedding…nothing you can do about the families. Just give support & an ear and some advice. But they have to deal with their own stress – either real or imagined. Instead, what we do is show them the road, the right way to create as little stress as possible for them. But we don’t relieve their stress…that’s what xanax is for.

If we could as a business just stop using these three “catch phrases” we all would have much happier, well adjusted couples.

Inspirationally Yours,


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